


Damaged

by Sheepysheep



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Emily’s a bitch, F/M, Half-Wendigo Josh Washington, How Do I Tag, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I can’t tag, Josh is precious, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Protective Josh Washington, Protective Sam Giddings, Self-Hatred, WOO, Wendigo Josh Washington, fight me, no cure, they love each other so so much
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-31
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-04 07:57:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20467661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheepysheep/pseuds/Sheepysheep
Summary: After the events of that terrible night, the group have felt trapped. Locked in a never ending checkpoint. They don't know why this feeling was plaguing them, they were off that mountain, they were safe.But Sam knew it's because they left one of their own on that Hellscape. They left her best friend up there.And she will save him if it’s the last thing she does.Please go support this story on Wattpad!





	1. Trapped

**Josh**

**Blackwood Mines**

**06:49 a.m.**

"Don't keep me here!" Josh yelled into the dark, cold space that surrounded him, engulfed his senses. His eyes only met darkness, and that only amplified the crushing loneliness he felt.

Sure, some could argue that his sister was there, and that he should be happy to be with her down there, finally finding her again after a year of searching and suspense.

Only that wasn't her. That was a twisted copy based off of the many other, of her- _their_\- kind. She had nothing that made her his sister. Nothing inside her that made Hannah, _Hannah_.

The only thing that Josh could recognize on her, was that goddamned tattoo. It taunted him endlessly. Just another teasing voice about how he couldn't save them.

He heard something move in the shadows. It was her, she was with him.

"I don't want to stay with you Hannah! Just let me go!" He screamed, desperation lining his tone.

He'd tried to escape before, and even with his new unnatural speed, he wasn't as fast as a fully developed one of his kind. Each time, Hannah would catch up to him, and drag him back, as harshly as the first time.

Blood stained his mouth, which now held sharp, dagger like teeth on one side, ripping his face open, as they protruded out awkwardly. That part hadn't hurt, but he knew the full transformation would. Sometimes he could feel his limbs start to grow, his bones start to shift, and it felt like absolute Hell.

Tears started to leak from his eyes, his one pale green one and his milky white one. He fell to his knees, small sobs of irritation leaving his parted lips- if they could be called that- and felt the cold stone rip through one of his trousers legs, but only poked at his now unbreakable skin.

He screamed, he was infuriated at himself, his sister, and his own weakness for not being able to keep his hunger at bay_ for a few months_. Of course he'd resorted to cannibalism.

**_That's what cowards do_**. Chris's voice echoed around his head.

His own shrill scream started as a human wail, but then became the sharp cry of a wendigo, and this only spurred on his tears. He put his head in his hands and kneeled forwards, hiding himself from this painful world, and, _finally_ he heard his younger sister leave him.

Thankful, yet reluctant that she has left, the loneliness that crushed his soul became heavier. It wasn't her, but yet it _was_.

He refused to raise his head, and be faced again with that endless darkness. It was only when he smelt something that his head raised from his clawed hands.

His human side immediately shut down, without him being conscious of it. The smell was sweet, yet held that same saltiness he had smelled from the sea. He found comfort in the smell, it was a warm , almost like the popcorn he snacked on while watching a movie of his father's creation.

His mouth started to drool. He'd been _so_ hungry, _for so long_, didn't he deserve to indulge a little?

He focused his hearing on three heartbeats, fast, scared. Perfect.

The warmth of the three flashlights landed on his back. After not one ounce of light for over four weeks, it startled him, enraged him. He was going to enjoy this.

He spun around fast, and shoved his newfound claws into one of the men's stomachs violently. Blood was spat from the man's mouth, and it landed on Josh's face. The heat of it, the texture, the source, all of this excited him, it felt like getting sexually aroused.

The other two pulled out their guns and shot at the half-breed, screams and curses spilling from their parted lips. These rebounded off his skin, and they didn't even leave a bruise. Letting a smirk take on his features, he ran at the two. Slashing the throat of one of them, so deep, the head ended up just rolling right off.

He then turned and grabbed the neck of the last one, lifting him off the ground with this new superhuman strength. He slammed this persons head continuously against the cave wall, grinning in delight at his harsh screams, seeming to lose more and more of his sanity with each drop of blood that was spilled.

Josh let go of his neck, let him slide down, a trail of blood from when his skull had finally given in. Josh's cannibalistic side saw no difference from the men, sitting dead at his feet, from a packaged packet of raw steam.

He lunged at them.

His claws ripped open the skin of the man in front of him, and he dug into his meal. The flesh tasted thin but contained so much flavor. It was like steak or lamb, chewy but sweet.

Blood poured down his neck and throat, thick, but filled with so much flavor. It tasted like metal, but quenched his thirst like water.

After his, seemingly, delicious meal, Josh's human side slowly regained consciousness, taking in the horror of what he'd done. He slowly sat backwards on his knees, as his face turned from delight to terror at his own actions.

Tears fell from his remaining human eye, as the milky one just stared at the men, uncaring. The salty water that flooded down his cheeks mixed with the pool of blood at his feet, diluting the thick texture, as well as cleaning the red from his own face.

His head went back into the safety of his hands. Rocking back and forth, he repeated one sentence over and over, hoping if he said it enough, some God would take pity on him.

"I just... just want to see her again." He whispered, frantically, his voice echoing around the dark cave, that was his prison.

**Sam**

**College Campus**

**07:16 a.m.**

Sam woke up with a jolt.

Another one of her stupid nightmares. Always the same images, same scenarios, same people.

A wendigo tearing it's way out of Beths stomach. Hannah's, usually sweet laugh and her morphing into that... _thing_. Her friends different heads rolling around smiling or screaming, their decapitated bodies ripping themselves apart. And... Josh.

His piercing screams from the last time she saw him. His face morphing into the Psychos and him sticking a needle into every part of her body.

She knew they were just dreams, but they were based off of her memories. The distinct smell of blood, rotting corpses, Hannah's perfume and Josh's scent, which she remembered all too well, and would give _anything_ to forget. It always made her nightmares feel like reality. Which was slowly driving her insane.

She always found that Josh smelled of after shave, a really nice kind that she couldn't smell on anyone else, a kind that was distinctively _his_.

It always set her heart at ease. She found herself closing her eyes, trying to calm her heartbeat, trying to focus on him.

She knew she shouldn't, that thinking of him would only make her more skittish. She knew he tried to torture them, but he was not sane. He was sick.

Besides, she was incapable of hating him. His skin was always so soft whenever he playfully grabbed her wrist or hand. He was so protectful of her, having the natural instinct to get in front of her if there was a shady group in the streets. They had been best friends, they'd adored each other... or she'd adored him.

But the memories that she found peace in the most was when they watched a film together. They were in his cinema room, dark, with the comforting light of the old movie projector his family insisted of keeping. The room always smelled of popcorn, a small machine resting in the corner, and the small sofa they curled up on was soft, _so soft_.

Sam always found herself slowly shuffling towards him during a rom-com, or jumping into him during a horror movie. It hurt to think of those moments. She missed him, so much.

But secretly, she felt as if he was still with her.

Sam heard rustling and panting from the bed next to hers.

She looked over to see strawberry blond hair covering the pillow, Ashley rolling around frantically. Her eyes were firmly shut and her feet were squirming, kicking out from under the covers, trying to defend against whatever was attacking her in her head.

Sam knew exactly what to do when this happened. She walked over to her roommate, carefully sat on the bed, and shook her gently. Ashley shot up suddenly, making Sam jump out of her skin.

The redhead looked around panicked and her eyes landed on Sam. Her breathing was shallow, and Sam could tell she was trembling.

"Sam...?" She whispered slowly, testing her voice tentatively. Her hand reached out and touched the blonds arm, careful and precise with her every movement.

Once her hand landed firmly on Sam's arm, she let out a choked sob and fell into her friend. Sam held her gently, rocking her back and forth, stroking her hair slowly.

"It's ok, we're all still here..." Lie.

They weren't, Josh was missing.

"It's over... we're safe."Lie.

That night was over, but they were far from safe. Nightmares plagued them all at night, shadows and movements startled them during the day, and feeling more trigger happy than ever, Sam had been banned of any kind of weapons.

They all thought it was over, but somehow she felt trapped. Trapped like her spirit was still trapped in those mines and only her body had made it back.

She felt as if their story was still going.

And she needed closure.

She needed to find her friend.

She didn't want to ask her friends, she knew they'd think she was crazy. But then again, she felt trapped in a Wendigos chokehold. She had to ask.

These thoughts continued spiraling around her head, but were cut off by the gingers whispers.

"Is it the though? Is it finished?" She asked shakily, as if having read the blonds mind.

Sam looked down at her in shock, but before she could say anything else, a piercing scream erupted from the room next door.

"Shit, Jessica..." Sam whispered as she got up and sprinted out her room, Ashley right on her heels.

They slammed open the door into the dorm room just next to theirs, to see Emily leaning over a crying Jess. She remained huddled in the corner, head on her knees.

The girls and, well, everyone involved in their night of horrors, had wanted to stay close to each other, because of that very prominent fear that they could still lose one another.

They were trapped at this half-point. Unable to move forwards, yet too terrified to move backwards.

Emily looked up when she heard the door bash against the wall.

"I woke up when she screamed, she's still asleep!" Emily explained quickly.

Sam shoved her aside and lifter Jessica's head off her knees. Jess's eyes were wide open, but they stared straight ahead, she wasn't conscious. Open, but unseeing.

Tears lined her cheeks and her mouth trembled.

Sam slapped her.

"Jess. Jess. Jess! Jessica! Look at me!" Sam repeated over and over, louder and louder, until Jessica's eyes snapped back onto Sam's face and her breathing became regular.

Sam dropped her hands as Jessica curled back into herself.

Just then, the boys rushed in. Mike making a break for his girlfriend and wrapping his arms around her as she gripped his shirtless figure like an anchor.

Chris went to Ash and she immediately flung her arms around him and tugged at the back of his top.

Matt went and looked worriedly at Emily who shook her head, almost dismissively, before burying her face into his chest.

Sam sat there looking at all these couples only to feel her heart ache.

She needed to see him.

She needed closure.

She needed to see if he was still there, dead or alive, if he had been eaten or left.

She needed to go back.

"Guys... I need to talk to you... about Josh" She stated.

Their faces all shot up to her, eyes wide at the mention of his name.

But _dammit_, Sam was going to find him, if it was the last thing she'd do..


	2. Return

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam's gaze traveled around the room.  
"So we're all going then?" She asked, earning a resounding nod from everyone of her friends. She let out a small sigh. "Well, at least we'll have each other." She stated dryly, a failed attempt at lightening the mood.

**Sam**   
**College Campus**   
**7:26 a.m.**

Emily paced back and forth across her and Jessica's room.

Sam has finally spilled all the thoughts that plagued her mind since she'd been whisked off that mountain in a helicopter. The tension was thick, and Sam's breath was caught in her throat, waiting for anyone to answer.

So far, everyone has remained silent, eyes glazed over, as memories from that night flashed before them.

Finally Emily turned on Sam.

"Are you fucking crazy?!" She screamed, her voice shrill. The sudden loudness that erupted from the girl caused everyone in the room to jump, and made Jessica almost launch herself into Mike.

Sam ran her hands down her face, nails biting at her skin.

"Look, I know it's crazy! But I have this feeling like, you know, like that nights not over, like it's just waiting us out!" She answered, voice low, not wanting to startle the others again.

Emily threw her hands in the air, clearly fed up with Sam's attitude.

"Crazy bitch..." Emily whispered under her breath, now crossing her arms. Sam sighed, desperation laced her tone. Her heartache bogged her down. It felt like a rock crushing her. But the rock wasn't a rock, it was her guilt.

_They were missing one._

"Come on Em! You know what I'm talking about! I need closure! I-I..." She started, rising from her seat on the bed, yet the words refused to leave her mouth. Drawing in a deep breath, she allowed her thoughts to be heard. "I need to know what happened to him." She finished, voice low, taking on an almost threatening undertone.

The tension in the air was so thick, they could've cut it with a knife. Josh's actions from that night still plagued all their minds, as well as their nightmares. But he was _sick_. She couldn't stress that enough each time she had to talk about the missing boy.

Silence flooded into the room, drowning them all in it. Chris, surprisingly, was the only one who dared to speak up.

"I-I... I agree with Sam." He stated loudly, confidence lacing his tone. Ashley's eyes look like they would pop out of her head.

"Chris!" She exclaimed, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes. Her grip on his arm suddenly grew tighter. "Chris, please, don't go back! Don't- don't risk your life for _him_!" Ashley screamed out, hysteria and paranoia plaguing her mind like a virus.

Sam flinched when Ashley lashes out at Chris, a small bubble of rage growing in her stomach.

_He was sick_. Sam nearly growled, but once she saw the look in Chris's eyes, she knew he felt the same as she did.

"He wasn't sane Ash!" He spat out, ripping his arm from her grasp with a newfound resolve.

Everyone else in the room stood frozen, only watching the exchange with worried eyes. Chris let out a sigh, calming his anger once he saw the hurt look in her eyes.

"I just..." He resumed, voice softer than before. Gently he reach out and took one of the redheads hands in his own. "He's like a brother to me Ash... I can't just leave him!" He explained gently, although that same fire lingered in his eyes.   
"I need to see if he's still alive." Chris finished, brining up his thumb to wipe away some of the tears that lingered on her cheeks.

Ash's gaze was averted to the floor, her fists clenched in a tight grasp.

"If you're going I'm going." She said through clenched teeth. Horror immediately entered Chris' eyes.

"Ash, no-" He began, but to no avail as the smaller woman cut him off.

"I'm coming with you Chris, wether you like it or not." She spat, voice firm, unwilling to budge on her decision. Chris nodded sadly. Jabbing a finger to his chest, she finished her train of thought. "I definitely haven't forgiven him."

Chris smiles softly, taking her hand and pressing a kiss to her knuckle.

" I know." He said softly. He side eyed Sam, who nodded firmly, before turning her attention to the rest of the statues in the room.

"Fuck it, I'm coming." Mike firmly, even if his body betrayed his tone, small tremors racking up his body. His right hand ghosted over where his two fingers used to sit. Sam noticed and sent him a pitiful smile.

"You don't have to Mike-" She started but was cut off by the guy.

"No. Sammy, you're not talking me out of this." He said voice firm, dropping both his hands at his side. A sly grinned donned his features. "Besides, we made a pretty good team last time didn't we?" He asked coyly, to which Sam let out a small chuckle.

Emily shook her head, her eyes hardening.

"Uh, if your going, I'm going, _honey_." She spat, glaring at Mike viciously. The fact that her ex boyfriend was proving braver than her clearly not sitting well with her competitive personality.

"Well then, I guess I'm coming too." Matt said, with a small humorous undertone. He walked over to stand besides Emily, sending her a small uncertain smile. She didn't argue against his decision, which was clearly something he was awaiting. His eyes were begging for an excuse not to go,

"I want to go back..." Jessica small voice whispered weakly from her corner, Mike's head shooting down to her, panic written all over his features.

"Jess..." He started softly. The blond looked up at him, gently cupping his cheek in his hand.

"It's alright Mike." She said, her voice soothing. Mike opened his mouth to protest, but before he could, Jess' hand relocated to his mouth. "No objections." She ordered weakly.

Mike's head dropped in defeat as he gently pried his girlfriends hand away from her mouth. She pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, before sending him a smile, one just as weak as she felt.

Sam's gaze traveled around the room.

"So we're all going then?" She asked, earning a resounding nod from everyone of her friends. She let out a small sigh. "Well, at least we'll have each other." She stated dryly, a failed attempt at lightening the mood.

**Sam **   
**College Campus**   
** 8:44 a.m.**

Sam stepped into the steamy shower and let the hot water run over her, immediately feeling her muscles relax. She felt the droplets roll into her hair and down her back. She closed her eyes as her body started to unwind.

_"Samantha." The Psycho walked into the cinema room, a needle in his hand. _

Sam grabbed the shampoo bottle and squirted some into her hair. It smelled of apple. Sweet, yet not too strong.

_Sam could hear her pulse in her ears, gripping her white towel for dear life. _   
_"Fuck!" The voice of the Psycho echoed as she finally lost him. _

Sam flinched, and wrenched her eyes open. She remained captivated at the white tiled wall.   
_Dammit Josh. You were so messed up in the head._ She thought. She remembered walking in on him in the mines, and him screaming for someone to go away, leave him alone and that he didn't take orders from them.

It wasn't his fault. He was sick. He had a mental disability. It had gotten worse because of those few months where he'd gone quiet, when she'd left him to writhe in his own guilt, his own shame, his own head.

She gripped her own knuckles, disappointed in herself for just leaving him when he stopped calling her. She was pissed at herself for leaving him alone when he needed her most, when she left him alone around the anniversary of the disappearance of his sisters.

Slamming her palm into the wall, trying to let her frustration go. She ran a hand over her face, wiping the water off.

"You had better be alive..." She muttered out through gritted teeth. She turned off the hot water and stepped into the cold air, which sent a shiver up her spine.

She stepped out to see Ashley shoving half of her possessions into a bag. She was muttering frantically under her breath about things she'd need, things to protect herself, and to protect her friends.

Suddenly stopping her train of thought, she spinner around quickly, eyes scanning the room. She took no notice of Sam reentering their joint bedroom. Her sight landed on her pillow, lunging at it. She reached under it, and pulled out a small metallic handgun.

Sam's jaw dropped, half in amusement, half in shock, at seeing her innocent friend with that deadly weapon in her hand.

"What are you doing? Guns don't work on them!" Sam stated playfully. Ashley clearly jumped at hearing Sam back in the room, her head whipping around in shock. Thankfully, she didn't have the instinct to raise the gun at her.

Ashley sighed, settling and turning back to her bag.

"Right, but at least it will slow them down." She stated. Sam nodded, pointing at the handgun.

"Aha, smart." Sam remarked, earning a small smile from the redhead. Fear was very prominent in her eyes, and it weighed down in her usual bright smile.

The months it had taken to heal her, for her to crush her day-mares down to nothing, were now proving to be for naught. All her fear and anxiety was coming back in full force, and that meant the hallucinations probably would as well.

Sam turned to her own bag and started filling it up with items in the list she'd made in her head from that morning. Sam would be prepared for those creatures this time. They wouldn't be helpless this time.

Sam then threw on one of her comfiest climbing outfits, one that wouldn't make her feel as vulnerable as when she'd been running around in a towel.

She'd never been able to look at a bath the same after that evening. Even if she'd felt traumatized after the event, she'd honesty felt better knowing that it was Josh who had been chasing her around.

At least it had been her best friend instead of some random psychopath.

Sam turned to Ashley, both with a hiking bag on their backs. They each drew in a breath, and Sam could tell that Ashley's breathing had accelerated.

"Ready?" Sam asked, with a small reassuring smile. Ashley nodded and they made their way down into the courtyard.

They walked out to see a black van, the rest of their ragtag group standing next to it. Jess was the first to noticed their arrival.  
"Finally! You decided to show up!" She yelled out, with forced humor.

They were all trying to lighten the mood, trying to ignore the sense of impending doom at the fact that they were actually going back to that place.

Sam couldn't help but smile softly at the group, who all seemed tense. They were all forcing laughs, forcing smiles. And that was obvious to her.

But then again, after years spent with the Washington's, she'd learned how to the difference.

Ashley grinned and chucked her bag in the boot, Sam's quickly following suit.

They then all clambered in. Mike was of course driving, with Jessica and Emily in the front with him. The rest of the group all sat in the back.

The tension was incredibly thick, fear lingering in the air like fog. It was suffocating.

"Why do you have a van Mike?" Chris asked cheekily. With none of the Washington's present, and with the amount of fear in the van, the task of cheering everyone up fell to Chris.

Mike let out a sigh. The tension started to dissolve from that comment, and Mike let a smile crawl onto his lips.

"Not to kidnap children you weirdo." He said playfully.

They started driving down the road, music blasting through the speakers, and the heavy tension returned, not five minutes onto the road. They were all too frightened to open their mouths, to start banter.

Sam put her head on her hand and turned her attention to the scenery beyond the thin glass. Green trees, grass swaying in the wind, squirrels squirming to get back to their tree, birds flying overhead.

Moments like these made Sam forget the horrors that she had seen, if only for a couple minutes. It was a small escape from her reality.

She was snapped out of her trance when heard Chris sigh. She turned to look at him in the backseat, slouching over his knees, picking at his fingers.

Because of how close she felt to Josh, she forgot how close Chris has been to him.

She'd been to Hannah what Chris was to Josh.

She remembered when they were young and she'd first met the two boys. She'd seen them as the coolest people in the world, only because they were a year older.

They'd always had the most fun when it was the five of them. They watched movies together, gone out together, had drunk talks together.

"Chris." She whispered to him, snapping him out whatever similar flashback he was having. He looked up at her, his eyes clearing of the fogginess they'd held. Sam smiled sweetly at him, trying to dissipate his nerves.

"We will find him. I promise." She stated confidently, reaching for his hand, which he gladly took. She rubbed her thumb over his cold, crisp hands.

He smiled weakly at her, trying to believe her words before he looked back out the window, as Sam detached her hand from his.

She turned her attention out the window, and went back to the bliss of nature.

Trying to get the last moments of peace she could for the next few hours. 

**Sam**   
**Bottom of Mount Washington**   
**10:32 a.m.**

After a couple hours in Mike's van, where the only speaking had been from Emily, complaining about car sickness, they arrived at the bottom of the mountain.

Before they broke the weird, quiet peace they'd established in the van, they took in the looming earth structure that was that haunted mountain.

Collectively, their heartbeats all rose. Their breathing all became ragged. Chris was the first one to climb out, the first to break the tension.

Sam clambered out next. She took in a breath of fresh air, trying to calm her ever growing nerves, and looked up at the mountain, now covered in flowers and grass instead of snow. Even if they knew about the creatures that lived up there, it didn't look, nor feel less intimidating.

She felt someone poke her back, interrupting her train of thought, and her bag was handed to her.Flinging it over her shoulder, they all began their trek forwards. None of them dared open their mouths, and even if they weren't up the mountain yet, it took incredible willpower to force themselves to move.

Walking back through this forest, Sam remembered how innocent she was then, how clear her mind was, how much she hadn't seen.

_Maybe this is a bad idea... _She thought. She cringed at herself, wanting to slap herself in the face for just thinking about abandoning him again.

She then shook her head firmly and walked ahead of the others. She needed to find him. She missed him so much. She didn't realize just how big a place he had taken up in her life before he wasn't there to fill it. She felt like she'd been taken off her life support, and now she was choking.

They were all silent and Sam could practically hear all of their collective heartbeats, going faster than the speed of light, and being louder than the shriek of a Wendigo.

Finally, they reached the cable car. Sam felt her muscles just screaming for her to stop, to stand perfectly still and not move a fucking muscle. Pushing all this a side, she put all her attention on Josh's laughter. She needed to find him.

Sam reaches the door first, and sighed exasperated and turned to the rest.

"Did someone bring a key?" She asked hopelessly. Everyone's eyes opened as they suddenly remembered the cable car had been locked after the police finished their investigation.

Chris pushed past the rest of the group, a smug expression on his face and unlocked the door to the cable car.

"Good thing I'm prepared." He stated as he kicked the door open, pride shining through his fear for a small moment.

"How did you get a key?" Ash asked, mouth agape, her own pride showing for her boyfriend.

Sure, Josh was twisted, but he managed to get Chris and Ashley together, to make the cutest couple of the century.

Chris put his hands on his hips, in an exaggerated manner.

"Well I'm considered as family to the Washington's, suck it y'all." He said walking into the control room and turning the key in the dial, starting the car, which wasn't too far onto the line.

Sam discreetly made her way over to Chris, and high-fived him, beeming of pride.

They all slowly clambered into the car, yet Sam remained frozen to the spot. She felt like she was going to pass out, her breathing was coming out in such sort spouts. Matt had to come up to her, and vocally tell her to breath. Her vision swam.

They were going back up.   
Going back to that Hellscape.  
To the jaws of those things.   
Back to the lodge.   
The bodies.  
The death.  
_Him_.

None of them could settle. The tension from the van came back in full swing.

And secretly, Sam and Chris only held one thought.

_We're coming Josh. Please, please be OK._


End file.
